lights out | ramblings


Happiness is a difficult concept to grasp. Mostly because it is constantly changing. You can single out a moment and say it was a happy time, but it is pointless to try to recreate a certain event to experience the same happiness you once felt. What brings you joy today may fail to do so tomorrow and you may find yourself smiling at a moment that once left a sour taste in your mouth. This is way being happy can be a bit of a struggle, you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for. Hopefully you’ll eventually stumble on something golden but most of the times you won’t know how happy you truly were until retrospective gives you a glimpse.

If you’re lucky, you can look back in your life and pinpoint the happiest moments. However, even happiness can be quite sad when it’s only a distant memory.

Sadness however is something very easy to embody. All you need is a brief moment with yourself and all at once the world goes dark. Even a happy souvenir can be easily tainted by a small quick thought. It really just takes a second to shift an entire day. It’s upsetting how fragile our mood is. It’s upsetting how our spirit can be broken with the wrong word. It’s truly upsetting how it’s so easy for darkness to overcome the light and how unfair that there is no switch to turn the light back on.

Most of the days will start off grey, some cloudier than the others, but consistently gray. Sometimes the clouds dissipate as the day goes by, however, night eventually arrives. Some days are summer days and the sun will shine unapologetically for many hours and night will take it’s time to come; others are more like winter and there’s only a little glimpse of light during the day, night arrives quickly and you have to make your way through life with a little more effort. You see, it’s quite hard to look forward in the dark, it’s equally as difficult to look back to where you came from. You can sit still and wish for the best or keep moving and hope you don’t stumble. Either way, you can’t succumb to it, you can never dare to become a distant memory of yourself.

Truth is there can’t be one without the other. And if it is a fact that darkness eventually comes, it is also certain that there will be light again. You just gotta hold on to that belief, even when you can’t see.

One thought on “lights out | ramblings

  1. if you stripped happiness down to its bones, it comes down like this:
    theres things that give you pleasure and things that give you pain. you want the first but not the second one. you cant really avoid the latter and you have to, for the most part, activily seek for the first one. that balance between both tells you how happy you are. unfortunaly, pain weights twice as much as joy, so good luck with that.

    happiness it’s always lost in the past. if you noticed it its already gone. sadness is different, it lingers and has a distinct presence. and if you swim enough in it you start to feel a bit of confort, its kind of like greeting an old friend.

    life isnt always generous but i’ll wait untill it pays its dues. let’s hope that there will be enough light up until then…


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