boyish charm |ramblings

2018-05-13 11.01.29 2

I’ve always been a sucker for a boyish charm. You know, when a guy is not only charming but also so aware of it that he becomes borderline arrogant. He’ll talk like an ass with an endearing smile, leaving you wondering if he truly believes what he’s saying or if he’s just aiming for a reaction. You often won’t know for sure if you should be annoyed or attracted. It’s a sweet struggle.

I like a good train wreck, as most girls do. I think everyone has that specific type of person that they’ll find themselves attracted to despite knowing better. My thing is a good old boyish charm.

Most of the boys I dated, or found myself attracted to, were really confident. Looking back, some of them didn’t had a lot of reasons to be (that’s not mean, it’s just painfully true), but they were nonetheless. And I was always attracted to that. Now, I’m not the most confident girl, so there were some moments were I would also be kinda of intimated by it, luckily (luckily?) it never really stopped me from pursuing them.

I dated a really sweet boy for a little bit. He was really sweet. Don’t think I’ve ever had any sort of romantic interaction with a sweet boy like that before, it was interesting and new. However, he lacked that slight arrogance. I would find myself getting bored of him at times, which was never fair to him. – Notice how I can say that all the others were assholes, but this one was really sweet so I feel terrible for saying he bore me. – I don’t think I’m suited for sweet boys, I’m already sweet enough. I need someone with a bit of spice in my life. A guy has to be at least a little bit of a imbecile for me to even consider being interested in him.

Falling for someone that has that unexplainable boyish charm will bring you inner conflict. It’s a given. Most of the days you won’t know if you want him close enough to hold or just ship him to another country. But that’s the fun of it. It keeps you on your toes and makes life more interesting. It’s definitely a frustration I don’t mind suffering from. I don’t know what this says of about me or my under-covered issues, I’m really not interested in finding out to be honest. But I do know that it’s a given and I can’t escape the true: I’m enticed by pretentious guys with playful smiles and an slightly insolent attitude. Bare with me if my description seems harsh, however I’ve been infatuated by – and even dated – boys like this my entire life, I’ve seen them up-close and I’m entitled to be honest. Doesn’t mean I like them any less and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


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