I loved you once.
We were kids who didn’t knew better and jumped fearlessly onto cold water on hot summer days. I would tell you all about my hopes and dreams and we would drown our fears while we picked fruit from the trees of your grandma’s backyard.
I loved you twice.
In the bliss of our teens, we would kiss in the shadows of spring and hide from the pointing fingers of our companions. We were precious and only ours. We would say we were friends and hold hands behind our backs. We’d lie to protect the truth from unloving eyes.
I loved you three times.
As we said goodbye, I loved you the most. At the airport with teary eyes, wet cheeks and a runny nose, as they dispatched my luggage and you held me tight. A grey hoodie and fearful eyes. ‘It won’t be that difficult‘, ‘You’ll come see me and I’ll come see you‘. I spoke from the heart while I told you those lies.
I’ll love four, five, six times.
In the loneliness of my room, curled up in a sweater that belonged to you, with another boy by side, hand to hand with my past. I should know better by now, had I not loved you all those times before. The heart grows fonder in the distance and memories grow sweeter in time. You’ll always have my heart.