blooming? | february

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Here’s the truth. 

Some people bloom when they open up, they’ll radiate light. As you get to know them they’ll become more and more pleasant. You will feel lighter just from being in their presence. They will surprise you everyday, with little quirks, selfless acts and overall warmness. 

I’m not like that. I kept wishing I was a blooming flower, but it seems I can only be a grey rainy day. I don’t open up to be a light sunny sunday morning. I’m fairly good at bringing some mild autumn weather to the table on an everyday basis, I’ll keep you at a distance so that you can catch these sun beams once in a while, but over all it’s always a bit on the colder side. If you get closer – and I’ll apologize now if that happens – things get a bit different. I don’t develop to become a sunny day or a full grown flower. There aren’t a lot of pretty things to see here. I try to be pretty to look at, from afar, because when you get close, you’ll see where beauty starts to crack.

I’m terrified that people won’t like what they see when they see me. I’m very reserved, seeing me is a difficult task, I can only hope to be worthy of the trouble. And I really did dare to believe that I was a blooming flower, that taking the time to know me would be somewhat rewarding. Turns out, I gave myself a lot more credit than I should have. I can only hope no one else comes to this realization, soon enough to leave me, before I get a chance to learn how to bloom.

 

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